It is such a gloomy day today. To make things worse, I had to drive to UiTM campus in Shah Alam this afternoon. Alone. Sighhh..... Am so not in the mood to drive today.
What should I write about today? Frankly, I have no idea. Am lost for words. Ok.. I think I am going to tell you guys that last night, I told my good friend, who is a guy that I felt a slight hint of jealousy towards his girlfriend. Sheeesshh.... How could that even happened? I am supposed to be mature enough and rational enough not to mix these kinds of negative feelings in a friendship. Damn! A definite "Jiwa Kacau" moment. I felt so embarrassed after telling him that. Why did I ever opened my big mouth? I honestly don't know what to do. I planned to distance myself from him, until I got this crap sort out. But then, I know that I shall miss him. He is a great person to talk and to confide to. I feel that I can tell him things which I don't normally tell to another guy. But then, before this jealous feeling gets out of hand, I should be the one to pull the handbrake. Should I?
Damn it! What am I suppose to do??
Thursday 20 October 2011
Thursday 6 October 2011
Singlehood
Till death do us part
I was married for 11 years. Then God gave me my greatest test: MY DIVORCE. It was the biggest blow to me. For almost a year I just couldn't believe that I am no longer someone's wife. It was hard for me to adjust to my new found singledom, as I had been in relationships since I was 17. I never had any time alone. I guess I am like Jerry Maguire... I can't be alone. So, I was kinda naive and trusting, and hopeful too... That I might find a replacement soon. Well, as it turned out, that was my biggest mistake ever. I jumped into a few short lived relationships to discover that guys just think that a divorcee woman is just a desperate woman. And that these guys are just looking for a good time with no longterm commitment. Ouchh! That hurt my ego. But maybe there's some truth in the allegation.
After 4 years of being single and being in and out of disastrous relationships, I have finally come to terms with myself. I believe that God has better plans for me. If I am destined not to find a companion and to stay alone, then so be it. I put all my faith in God. I am sure that He will protect me. I stopped looking for love... For I have lots around me. I have my loving family, my BFFs, my colleagues and best of all I have His love.
After all, I found that I am happy being single. Having a man in my life tends to complicate things more. And I'm done with all the dramas. It's my turn to live MY life now.
But then again..... I will always have good faith in life.... Who knows what's gonna happen in the future.......
I was married for 11 years. Then God gave me my greatest test: MY DIVORCE. It was the biggest blow to me. For almost a year I just couldn't believe that I am no longer someone's wife. It was hard for me to adjust to my new found singledom, as I had been in relationships since I was 17. I never had any time alone. I guess I am like Jerry Maguire... I can't be alone. So, I was kinda naive and trusting, and hopeful too... That I might find a replacement soon. Well, as it turned out, that was my biggest mistake ever. I jumped into a few short lived relationships to discover that guys just think that a divorcee woman is just a desperate woman. And that these guys are just looking for a good time with no longterm commitment. Ouchh! That hurt my ego. But maybe there's some truth in the allegation.
After 4 years of being single and being in and out of disastrous relationships, I have finally come to terms with myself. I believe that God has better plans for me. If I am destined not to find a companion and to stay alone, then so be it. I put all my faith in God. I am sure that He will protect me. I stopped looking for love... For I have lots around me. I have my loving family, my BFFs, my colleagues and best of all I have His love.
After all, I found that I am happy being single. Having a man in my life tends to complicate things more. And I'm done with all the dramas. It's my turn to live MY life now.
But then again..... I will always have good faith in life.... Who knows what's gonna happen in the future.......
My first attempt to write a reading log... Hahaha
Reading log trial
House Opposite
I started reading this short story while in my Year 4 class. I took them to the library for their reading project and make full use of my somewhat "free time " to read.
When I first read a few lines in the first paragraph, I began to wonder who was the woman living opposite of the hermit's house? My first thought as I went on reading is that, she must be a prostitute. Especially when the hermit often saw many different men coming in and out of her house daily.
However, the writer's use of language and words slows my reading progress. I feel that he used many bombastic words and I am not used to reading written work like this. I am a leisure reader where most of my reading materials were of simple language.
While reading, I was tempted to stop and look up the words' meanings in the dictionary but I held back because I wanted to read the whole story first. But halfway through reading, my mind began to go astray. I guess I was kind of bored reading the story, with lengthy descriptions and unfamiliar words keep on emerging.
I had to focus back to where I left off and continued reading, but then again my mind started to wonder off again. I find it really hard to concentrate. Maybe because this kind of reading is not my cup of tea.
Nevertheless, the writer keeps me guessing how the story ends. Being me, I am the type of person who likes the ending of any stories or books or even movies to be settled. So, I couldn't really comprehend where the hermit was going? What happened to the woman in the opposite house? Did she keep on doing her job? Maybe I should re-read this story....... But then again......
House Opposite
I started reading this short story while in my Year 4 class. I took them to the library for their reading project and make full use of my somewhat "free time " to read.
When I first read a few lines in the first paragraph, I began to wonder who was the woman living opposite of the hermit's house? My first thought as I went on reading is that, she must be a prostitute. Especially when the hermit often saw many different men coming in and out of her house daily.
However, the writer's use of language and words slows my reading progress. I feel that he used many bombastic words and I am not used to reading written work like this. I am a leisure reader where most of my reading materials were of simple language.
While reading, I was tempted to stop and look up the words' meanings in the dictionary but I held back because I wanted to read the whole story first. But halfway through reading, my mind began to go astray. I guess I was kind of bored reading the story, with lengthy descriptions and unfamiliar words keep on emerging.
I had to focus back to where I left off and continued reading, but then again my mind started to wonder off again. I find it really hard to concentrate. Maybe because this kind of reading is not my cup of tea.
Nevertheless, the writer keeps me guessing how the story ends. Being me, I am the type of person who likes the ending of any stories or books or even movies to be settled. So, I couldn't really comprehend where the hermit was going? What happened to the woman in the opposite house? Did she keep on doing her job? Maybe I should re-read this story....... But then again......
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